Monday, March 3, 2014

i hope you know

You know this blog- and the instagram and fb page attached to it- is only a puzzle piece of the picture, right? One small, edited, selected part of the whole.

You know that the outfit my toddler is wearing was taken before the spaghetti sauce dumped down his shirt and the booger slid out of his nose and onto his lip. Right?

You know that story I shared when Jerry made me feel loved is totally true, but what you don't see are the times we are duking it out, working and praying hard so that this marriage actually IS as sweet to be in as it sounds like it is. Don't you?

You know that new sofa looks nice sitting in front of the window, but there is no picture that lets you see the time we have taken to save up for it, or the thing we didn't buy in order to get it.  I hope?

So why do I share these things? Why do I post pictures of the time I actually got dressed, when I am currently blogging in my sweats with no make up? Sweet friend, I feel like you need to know that I have no interest in being disingenuous. My heart isn't to make my life seem glamorous- in fact, I can assure you it feels like nothing of the sort. So why choose to share that thing?

Why do any of us choose to share the things we do?

I keep thinking of this quote at the beginning of the book by Donald Miller, "Blue Like Jazz."

"I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.

After that I liked jazz music.

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way."

I share outfits, room décor, and kid pics because I have a heart to inspire others. To help. To create. To enjoy. To create beauty in life around me. And because one of the things I love most in life is sharing things I love with others. Ask Jerry. If we go out to eat together, you will be forced to try a bite of that entrée I got at the restaurant that made me roll my eyes in sheer bliss, because I want you to taste something, too. If you are doing life with me, I will beg you to read the article that I just read and that touched my heart, because I want your heart to be touched, too. I will excitedly tell you about the amazing price I just got my new coat for because I want you to enjoy the sale with me if you need a new coat, too! You see... I just love living life beside people. I love savoring it.

I'm the girl who genuinely chooses to spend her time counting her blessings and not focusing on what she doesn't have. I believe life is beautiful and God is inspiring and our days should be embraced with a conquering yell in our lungs and wide-open arms. I believe life is sweet. It's a joy. It's a privilege. I believe in living with open hands- that the blessings I have may be counted a such, but to also be ready to give at the second they are asked. I love to look at the homes/outfits/food my friends [and cyber friends!] post to insta/pinterest/fb and be inspired by it. And so I add my "noise" to the bunch in hopes that others will be inspired and will, in turn, inspire me right back!

I don't believe a person's value is attached to their outfit. I don't believe a home needs pretty things in it in order to be filled with joy. I don't need validation from others to know that my life is an honor and a pleasure to live- I only pray I live it well. And I hope you are living yours well, too.

So if you have ever walked away from a blog post wondering if that's all I cared about, know that it's not.
If you have ever questioned whether I shared the picture of my home trying to impress you, know that I didn't.
If you have been tempted to think I use superficial means to define the worth of those around me, know that I don't.

I just want to suck the very marrow out of life. And I want to enjoy the beautiful things and precious moments in it. I want to celebrate the victories and process through the trials and remember the lessons. And I love to share them with you.

Thanks for walking life with me.     ----/--@

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