Let's get one thing straight before I talk story with you- Roman can never know I shared this tale with you. Especially not when he is in high school. But golly, if kids don't come up with the craziest stuff...
Last night I walked into the bathroom to find Roman, undies to ankles, with boy-parts resting on the edge of the toilet. I stopped and gave him a very confused look, to which he says, "This way, I don't have to wash my hands!"
Work smarter, not harder, son. And then I laughed.
Don't worry, he still had to wash his hands ;)