Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Terrorism

So. Life with two toddlers is easy. How easy? Allow me to give you a glimpse into the 10 minutes of my life- a mere glimpse into the day.

Everybody likes clean laundry. So while getting a clean, WHITE {this will be important later} load of laundry from the basement to fold, Roman decides life would be more fulfilling if he dumps his snack cup upside-down on the couch. I have goldfish in the crevices. Let me tell you something: the very people who enjoy loads of clean, white laundry are the very same folk who treasure couch cushions that are absent of orange cracker crumbles, glorious bounty though it may be.

After WE {boo-yah, son.} clean that up, I sit down to fold my clean, WHITE laundry. So naturally, Liam dumps my cup of ice water onto the tray sitting on my coffee table... Which of course spills out through the cutout handles in the sides and soaks into the fabric top of the ottoman below. Naturally.
I kid you not, I am IN THE VERY ACT of cleaning up the mess when I see Liam climb into the clean, WHIIIIIIIIIITE  load of laundry and smear his mouthful of dried cherries all over my used-to-be-white clothes, as I run like this toward him, to no avail:



(Seriously, guys, you've got to watch that video...)

So I scrubbed the cherry bloodshed out of the clothes, which I will relive in my dreams for years to come. And though the story should just end already, it's worth adding that I had just sat down again to fold clothes... when I see Liam grab the entire bag of those gosh-durn shiveled little suckers and dump them out, manna-from-heaven style.

I am a tired and weary woman.

And also, I think George Bush was right. I'm about to declare my own war on terror....
Xoxo,
Lauren

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