As I wandered between the glossy pages of Vogue tonight, I ran across a spread of mothers. And I was grateful. I know it sounds corny, but I felt so much freedom looking at these women and their children.
Raising others yet expressing themselves.
Or perhaps finding a new identity.
I've been feeling, lately, the heavy, unspoken-yet-irreverent demand that you surrender yourself as a woman when you are also a mother. I feel it in my bones. I have seen its shadow creeping along the walls. And as I cling with bloodied nails to the resolution that I will both keep my own person AND raise humans, I acknowledge that the battle is bloody and the determination flickers and even wanes at times.
And tonight, between those slippery, style-filled pages of Vogue, I found my resolve again.
Mother and Lauren I will be.
Dear Vogue, I don't know if you meant to do it or not, but I needed you. "They've taken their toll, these latter days."
And it's nice to see these photos. They remind me what I am free to be, not only who I am blessed to be.
Which is good, because I just ordered this great Panama hat... You'll see.