Tuesday, April 30, 2013

rainy days and baseball hats

It's rainy and cold outside, and I'm snuffly and sick on the inside. I'm not complaining about the weather- it's no secret I love me some yucky weather- but I sure wouldn't mind being healthy to enjoy it. This morning, in spite of germs threatening to take me out, {maybe in defiance, shaking my proverbial fist in the snotty, coughing face of those nasty little buggers} I took the boys out to ride their bikes during a break in the rain. You can appreciate, then, the big, fat smirk on my face when my girlfriend send me this by text:

I felt it only fitting to send her this in return:

I mean....baseball hat and no makeup IS pretty darn sexy. Eat your heart out, Emilee. Forgive me, I didn't want to rev your engine too much by showing you my sneakers. Me-yow.

Monday, April 15, 2013


I've been spending a lot of time the past few months thinking about friendships. How they're made; how they're kept. It makes sense, considering it's time to start the process of making more friends. Again. And in the dark corners of my mind, where self-pity and parties of the same sort reside, I've had this recurring thought: I just want a best friend. Let me change that: I just want a best GIRLfriend. Jerry is pretty stinking rad and will blow any other friendship out of the water, so it's just not fair to compare that. But still, a guy can only do so much for a girl. Sometimes another lady needs to step in and intervene. After all, does a guy really know how to stop a run in your pantyhose?

It's not that I don't have good friends. I have great friends! I feel like I have been blessed to find more girlfriends than most people have. Surely more than anyone can ask for. But sometimes I start to feel like every "best friend" has a best friend- and it's not me. And that started to get me down. I had finally just chalked it up to the price of being a military family and moving around. It makes sense to me that those in nearer proximity to the friends I had left behind would be closer to them. It's a pain to have to walk around the "so catch me up on all the news" bush before you can get to the "so what's your heart on the matter?" sidewalk. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Distance can also make you forget what you have. And I had even started worrying about moving to Fredericksburg. What if everyone else here already has enough friends? What if they don't need one more?

I'm good at throwing a pity party, right? I go all out.

Eh, every girl has some sort of nagging worry. This is mine, lately.

But after spending the weekend with three of my best friends from my college days, it was nice to pick up where we left off 5 years ago. And we went together to celebrate a baby shower, followed by a 30th birthday party. I was surrounded by girls.

Actually, guys should be very jealous. I spent the weekend surrounded by HOT girls. Hot, SMART girls. Boy, did they miss out. ;)

And you know what I learned? Whether through direct conversation about friendships, or by hearing it mentioned off-hand because of something else, I learned that I wasn't the only one with "girlfriend problems." Other girls wish they had more girlfriends or feel like they didn't have a "best friend." Which got me thinking- I already have my BEST FRIEND. I married him. He's pretty fly. {for a white guy.} And I'm going to keep him. And, just like the perfect spouse doesn't exist (What? He's hot. Doesn't mean he's perfect. Hey, me neither!), the perfect singular girlfriend doesn't exist. Because perfect people don't exist. So looking for a "best friend" may be an impossible affair (and if you have one, hopefully reading this will make you smile and you'll realize what a rare and precious commodity you have found!) or perhaps a childish aspiration. Why does that title seem so important to me?

We will never find perfect people.  There is no magic combination. And it is, comically even!, entirely possible you'll find that the friend who understands your heart best is the one whose personal style is the opposite of yours. Or maybe the friend who shares none of your passions/hobbies in life is the one who can make you laugh and forget bad days. I say we keep those. Who doesn't need to laugh?

Maybe...just maybe it's possible that we start to feel alone when we place unrealistic expectations on people, thinking they need to be everything we need to be, all in one package.

I have friends I literally have nothing in common with but we both found ourselves a long way from home, and we both just needed a friend. I have friends that I felt shared my very soul in my past, but who I, in the present, can seem to find no common thread. I have friends with different political beliefs, different religious beliefs, different financial situations, different definitions on what defines success..... And wow, are they i-n-c-r-e-d-i-b-l-e women. I am giving none of them up.

Cool fact: when you spend time thinking about how awesome your friends are, you stop the pity party and send the violins home. ;)

So what will I do about my dilemma about finding new friends yet again? Why, I'll just look around. Yep, that's my great plan. Because I've decided when you need a friend....all you have to do is look around.

You look for the women you admire. The ones who will make you a better version of yourself. You look for the strong ones and the wise ones. The ones who make you laugh and the ones to whom you can cry your darkest secrets. You look around for for the best-dressed ones, and for the fellow mamas who encourage you and show you that there is hope. You hold on to the coworker who gets you through your long work day or the neighbor who makes you feel less alone because she waves good morning, or the one who knows you from your past even when they don't share any of the future. You even hold on to the one who disagrees with what feels like everything you say, because she makes you think things through more thoroughly, and that makes you better.

You find those- in as many people as they come in- and you hold on tight. Because we all need each other. We all need to be the best version of ourselves.

And who knows...maybe we can be one of those people for someone else along the way.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Bone to the bad

.....like "bad to the bone"....except I'm being silly and saying it backwards....
......no one ever gets my jokes.

pants: target, tee: jcrew, vest: h&m, heels: Calvin Klein (old)

Three cheers for finally figuring out the top knot for longER hair. It's funny, but my hair is only a few inches longer than it used to be and it doesn't go up into a top knot like it used to. Shout out to my friend, Tiff, for her secrets of a solid top knot. Seems dry shampoo, a loose braid, two hair bands, and five bobby pins will do the trick. Bad hair days be gone once more!