Friday, January 4, 2013

good versus best

I remember a night during my freshman year of college when my roommate slash best friend and I were philosophizing about relationships and life. I'm sure it was after midnight because really good talks of that sort only happen when sleep overtakes your brain...and there were probably copious amounts of ice cubes in the shape of card suits. {That's right, we had ice cubes in the shape of spades, clovers, diamonds, and hearts. We were so cool.} And I miraculously mumbled something that we thought was half-intelligent and we wrote it on index cards to remember it with the light of morning. Wouldn't you know the silly thing has stuck with me all these {11 years??} later?

"Sometimes people settle for what's good, what's because waiting for what's best could leave them alone."
-Lauren Crider
(genius at age 17)

Or something like that. I'm allowed to paraphrase because I said it.

But it's still so true!!! How many relationships stay together because there is comfort knowing you at least have Schmoopy Pants, and if you broke up, you may never find anyone else. How many people stay in their current job because they risk having no job if they were to leave? (This is the one we face as we are leaving the military!) How often do we stick with _____ because the risk of having something less/worse is too intimidating?

But there is a collision between that way of thinking and a life of faith. Often, having faith means that God impresses upon your heart the things He has for you...and then the onus is on you to jump. Sometimes that jump is a small one, the kind you'd need to get over a puddle. Other times it's a free fall off the Grand Canyon. Or at least it feels like it.

I'm currently sky diving.

My arms are spread out as wide as my legs, I'm screaming but there is no sound coming from my mouth, and my hair....well, it's had much better moments.

Here is the job situation right now: We have two contracts being offered {YAYEE}: job A and job B.
Job A is for a much higher salary, better job, better bosses, but NO START DATE on the horizon. Big, fat question mark. Could be a call this afternoon with a position, could be six months or a year from now. Or anywhere in between. Job B is for a modest salary, not Jerry's dream job but a good position, and a start date of a week or two from today. The dilemma: do we take the best and risk a wait that could cause us to lose our dream house that we've gone under contract for, that could mean living with my parents for a ridiculously humbling amount of time, and could mean we run out of our military paychecks and end up needing to get a job at McDonalds to just make enough money to pay bills? Or do we take what is safe because there aren't question marks and it's still good.

Good and safe? Or best and "risky?" {The word "risky" is in quotes because if God is involved, risk is simply a problem in perspective.} The kicker is that I don't think either are bad. I don't believe that either are outside of God's Will for us. I believe that Job B really is a good thing! But there is a big difference in the lives of people who settle for good versus the people who press for greatness. I've never desired to stay where I was- it's just not in my bones. Life has always been a conversation between God and I as I press in, explain that my heart feels like there has "got to be more than THIS!" and God says, "I know you want to push for more. I made you that way!!! And I have more for you!!!!" I'm a doer. I'm a warrior. I'm a conqueror. And so this is dilemma of good versus best would normally be simple. But when there are children involved and your consequences affect them...it's not so easy. Fear is tempted to creep in and snarl something about how they'll be stuck wearing holey jeans and have no home to grow up in while their parents work four jobs trying to pay bills when, if we had only taken the GOOD choice, they would have had the perfect life.

Yeah, because there is no obvious flaw in those lies, right? HA.

The funny thing is, I have prayed three prayers on repeat these past few months 1) God, help me not to pick IT up. {more on that in the previous blog post} 2)God, please provide what we need as we need it. I don't know what we will need, I have no idea how to imagine all this is going to go, so just take care of us. I don't even need to have things ahead of time- I'm content to trust you. Just take care of us. And 3) God, give us Your Best. I want your full blessings. I don't want a cup half-full. I don't want good. I want BEST. I want all your blessings poured over my head so that I feel my lungs burning with the need to breath but can't get a breath in yet because the blessings are still drenching me. Pounding me. Covering every square inch of my clothes with wet, rich, glorious FAVOR.

Okay, I can see now that I asked for this. Ha.

S-C-A-R-Y.

What if, as I pray about it like a crazy fool, BEST is where I feel like we are being led?  Again.

You better believe I'm going to confirm the crap out of that if I feel like God is turning us that direction. We're praying hard. Pressing in. And if you're the praying type, please pray with/for us. I'll let you know how things shake out....

2 comments:

  1. Is one of these jobs with Booz Allen? (you don't have to share which or even answer if you don't want to!) Just curious because my college roommate and her boyfriend both work for that firm. They are gov't contractors at the FBI doing IT stuff. They both LOVE the company. Kristin was at KPMG in the DC area before and left for Booz.

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    1. Jess BOTH are, actually!! Same company, two different contracts! Haha

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