Monday, September 17, 2012

front row seat

I think baby walkers should come with warning statements. You know, other than the traditional "don't let babies use this near the stairs or you'll see them do better flips than Olympic gymnasts" kind of stuff. It seems these four-wheeled devices are more dangerous than they appear. Warnings that caution "Do not underestimate the cruising speed of one of these suckers, lest they remove your ankles from your body." wouldn't be unreasonable. It would be nice to know such things before you're laying prone on the kitchen floor.

Roman made the mistake of innocently standing in the kitchen yesterday when Liam smashed into the back of his legs, making Ro freak out, frantically demanding to be picked up, and realizing that his home is no longer safe. That's the kind of mistake you don't make twice in life. Today, when the speeding bullet came hurtling his direction, he screamed, "Liam, watch out!!! Liam, watch out!!! No, Liam!!!" And took off running. We're talking sprinting. From one side of the kitchen to the other, down hallways and behind the island, finally finding solace perched on the second level of my kitchen shelves.



Sometimes Liam reminds me of the guy from Goonies.... "Heeeeey you guuuuuuys!" Hands held in the vertical position while his legs run Flinstone-style under him, propelling his walker at the speed of light and a grin on his face. It's really awesome. I think the detail that propelled the situation to levels of hilarity is the large Fridge Farm magnet that got stuck behind Liam and the walker back, so that a mechanical rendition of "Lou, Lou, skip to my Lou" became the theme song of terror.

And today I wondered, from my perch at the sink where I was washing dishes, whether I was obligated to do more than stand there laughing hysterically at the terrorist bouncing around my kitchen. I'm thinking- no. It comes down to two words: free. entertainment. I've come to the conclusion that being a mother simply means you have front row seats to the best comic show in town. And the tickets aren't cheap or easy to get, but you better believe they're worth it.
Holy moley.

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