If you were to come to my house right now I'd welcome you in- it's nap time and both boys are sleeping. This part of the day is my haven. It's necessary to my survival.
We would sit down at my table, I'd offer you cream and sugar, we'd smile at each other, and just chat. At some point you might ask, "So, Lauren, how is it being a mother of two?" To which I'd say, "It's easier than I thought it would be. It's HARD. WORK. It's fun work. I love it. I feel super accomplished. I'm so frazzled. I have no down time. It feel so nice to know what I'm doing...sort of? I can't remember what I just did with Roman when he was a baby and it hasn't been long. I'm exhausted. I've totally got this. Where did I just put my shoes? Wait, what was I doing? I need more coffee."
And that would sum up life right now.
I was so nervous for Liam to come because the recurring feedback I heard from everyone is "Two close together are a huge gift...after the first year. For the first year, it's really hard." And while I never changed my mind about wanting the boys close together, it totally spooked me. Could I handle it? Would I regret it? I didn't have the grace one deserved some days so how would I ever have enough for two? And while my work load has increased, I don't find it harder to do life with two. Granted we're only a month in (By the way, I find it UNBELIEVABLE that this weekend he will be one month old. Impossible.), and of that month I've only been on my own for four days, but in my first week I've managed to figure it out and laundry/cleaning/groceries/errands/naps/playtime somehow managed to get done.
If we were, indeed, sitting around my table (a secret: it's not nap time any more. It's almost 6:00 and dinner is almost done in the oven, Liam is asleep, and Jerry and Roman are playing outside. I now blog in chunks. And the reason I'm still blogging is because it feels good to me. Plus, I think it will be fun to re-read in a few years.) I'd tell you that Monday was fun, Tuesday was totally doable, Wednesday was hard, and Thursday is smoothest of all. I'm learning.
This is where you'd see me laugh and look down into my coffee cup while sheepishly admitting that by the time Jerry got home from work yesterday I was so overwhelmed with life/chaos that when he asked if I could call to make a vet appointment for Sophie I started crying and said, "Can we just not talk about anything else that has to be on my to-do list for one minute??"
And then I went to get the tilapia from the freezer so I could make dinner.
I'd be lying if I said it's been easy.
But I'd be lying if I said I hated it. The truth is that I LOVE being a mom of two. I feel like I'm better at what I do because there is more TO do and I always perform better under pressure. I am much more organized and manage my time more wisely when I have a jam-packed day that requires me to be on my game. And now I definitely need to be at the top of my game. :)
I have decided that I love it. Some days will be like Wednesday and others will be like today. But it's been a blast being a family of four. It feels like a real family. And we were absolutely a family when we were a family of three, but now it feels less like we're a married couple with a kid and more like a family that will vacation together and send out Christmas cards. It's pretty awesome.
And sadly, this is when I find some polite way to make you feel loved yet get you to leave my house. Because...not to be rude or anything...but my dinner is done.
Time to eat. :)