Monday, September 12, 2011

Can A Mom Wear Heels?

I was moseying along through my weekend and received a notification that my girlfriend had tagged me in her facebook status. So, I looked to see how I was involved in her day and saw that she had tagged me so that I'd check out a blog article that she had posted. The title of the article? "16 Things You Can't Wear Once You're A Mom." In the time it takes for my beloved iphone to do it's speedy, internet-y thing, I was reading this article that made my fashion-loving/mommy-heart radar perk up. After all, I have definitely had to face the question "How does being a mom change what I wear?" I couldn't wait to read what the article said and say "You're so right!"

The only thing is....I didn't agree with many. In fact, out of 16, I only agree with 2. Well, I guess maybe 3. Below is her list, but you can check out her article here: http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/125446/16_things_you_cant_wear
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1. Strapless anything. Unless of course you don't mind your kid pulling down your top when you least expect it for the whole playground to see your breasts as your little one screams "MILKIES!"

2. Low cut shirts. See above. Kids hands are quick!

3. High heels. Specifically the stiletto heel. Unless you want to break an ankle. I did wear them all through my pregnancy (until the end when no pair of shoes even fit anymore). But once my twins arrived, those sex kitten heels only come out on adult nights out. Wedges however, totally do-able ... unless they are on a high platform.

4. Lipstick. I love me some berry tinted lips. But I don't love that berry tint all over my baby's cheeks. So I avoid when with the kids because I can't avoid kissing them!

5. Perfume. Honestly it's no longer needed especially when you have that new baby scent all over you.

6. Short skirts. Mini skirts + bending over to pick up your kid's lovie in the supermarket = X-Rated mommy.

7. Non-stretch jeans. You know the kind you have to wiggle into and then lay down on the bed to get zipped up? Uh, yeah. Try running after your toddler in those. I have agita just thinking about it.

8. Things with sequins. Kids think it's dessert.

9. Pants with too many buttons and snaps and requires a belt. Have you ever tried to pee with a baby in your arms? It takes the skill of one arm and an elastic waist.

10. Dangling earrings. Unless you are going for a barbaric way of stretching to a 0 gauge.

11. Really tight shirts. Not conducive to nursing moms.

12. Hair down. You don't have to cut it all if you don't want to, but you may want to get it out of your kid's reach unless you enjoy torture and practicing face contortions.

13. Necklaces. Can be a chocking hazard for the kid and you. Also, most likely to break. Just like ...

14. Glasses. Little hands love spectacles. They snatch 'em off your face and run away. My husband's pair are taped together.

15. White. Unless you don't mind it being the day's canvas with stains that will never come out.

16. Dry-clean only clothes. Unless you are rich.

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I agree with the 6)short skirts and 11)really tight shirts because I just personally don't want my kids to see their mom in those things- especially not when my sons' friends start to be of a certain age or if I have daughters who are looking to me for cues as to how to dress. But that's my own "modesty meter" working. I used to have a few fitted tunics that were short (which I even wore with leggings!)) but I removed them from my closet after having Roman because I decided they were just shorter than I was comfortable with "Mommy Lauren" wearing. I also agree with 2)low-cut shirts but not because Roman will pull them down. This is, again, related to my "modesty meter."

But just as the article held one woman's opinion, and my blog now holds another woman's opinion, each mama gets to decide for themselves how motherhood will affect their closet. And it depends on what you're willing to put up with. I have had earrings yanked on a few times, so hard that the pain send stars to my eyes, but I have used those moments as opportunities to teach Roman and now have a son who looks at mama's pretties gently and then moves on with life. I blame this on the way I'm wired- when you tell me I can't do something, I HAVE to do it.(I have heard many times that once you're a mom you can't wear dangly earrings or nice necklaces again until the kids are older.) So I have a feeling I may think of this mom's blog article when getting dressed for a while.

I have so many friends who are just having their first baby, pregnant with their first, or thinking of starting a family in the next year. And after reading it I felt the desire to call up each one personally and say, "No, no!! Being a mommy will change a lot of things in life out of necessity, just because that's what has to happen. But your closet can still be fabulous!!! Don't despair!" You can STILL be in shape and have a body you're comfortable with, even after carrying a child. You can STILL dress stylishly even though you have a baby to nurse throughout the day or a toddler to chase around as you play pretend tiger-gets-killed-by-a-sword. You can STILL care about yourself and the way you're dressed and cared for.

In fact, I believe that being a good mom means taking care of yourself. If you burn out or start to lose your identity, that doesn't show your daughters how to be strong women, confident of who they were created to be. And it doesn't teach your sons what a strong woman is capable of and give them a standard of woman to look for and, one day, to marry. Being a mom is a great responsibility, and part of that responsibility is taking care of yourself. Taking time for yourself. Because if we're not taken care of, we are too empty to take care of everyone around us with the grace and patience and love that we want to.

I think that's the heart of why I disagreed with the words of that blogger so much. We mamas sacrifice so much. And everyone is so quick to judge what we have decided is best for our families. Why should we also have to be told what we can and can't wear? Why are stilettos so out-of-the-question?

I had to smile, after reading those 16 things I'm not supposed to be wearing as a mom, when I looked down at the clothes I had on that moment:
-off-white skirt
-bright red lipstick
-perfume
-platform stiletto heels (double whammy!)
-sunglasses




I guess I never have been one to follow the rules ;)

2 comments:

  1. LOVE IT! I totally agree with everything you thought about the article too - the only reason I'm not rocking heels is that I never did before Levi, anyway. I consistently wear huge earrings, long necklaces, and sunglasses. I love wearing skirts. In fact, being a mom of a boy has made me want to dress even more girly at times! Thanks for being a fashion inspiration, friend!

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  2. "Being a mom is a great responsibility, and part of that responsibility is taking care of yourself. Taking time for yourself. Because if we're not taken care of, we are too empty to take care of everyone around us with the grace and patience and love that we want to."

    These are some of the most truthful and real words I've heard in a while. Thank you for validating that I don't have to wear my PJ's all day, or a workout "outfit" even on days I'm not working out. Now... I just need to get my wardrobe in line with my beliefs.. :)

    Charlotte

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