Friday, August 26, 2011
Today we are 20 weeks pregnant with Liam- HALFWAY. On one hand I feel like time is passing way too quickly because the thought of having a newborn again in 20 weeks is intimidating and I doubt my magical mommy superpowers. But on the other hand, I feel like I have been pregnant FOREVER. How can I possibly only be halfway??
But you know what? Until the belly becomes large enough that it makes simple tasks, like picking an item off the floor, seem daunting, I will ask that the next 20 weeks take their time. The nursery isn't done (though the bedding is ordered!- I love Etsy but that's another post for a different day.), Roman is so much fun to play with, I am treasuring the special time we have right now when life is just the two of us during the day. And I love that Jerry and I can take turns with him, giving the other one a break. After Liam comes, we'll be man-on-man defense.
I have never once wavered in the desire to have two kids close in age. Jerr and I would like three or four kids total and we'd like them to be all fairly close in age. That being said, here is my disclaimer: we'll see if we can actually handle that, taking it one kid at a time! Who knows the special needs a future child may have or the challenges that come our way. No matter what, it's important to us that we have the time needed to raise each child well, and the money to provide them with every opportunity/sports camp/music lesson they need to grow their gifts. If that means we stop at two, then we stop at two.
From the moment we officially decided to try for a second child, I have always felt a little freaked. (If you know me well, that makes total sense- no explanation necessary.) I'm sure that's the way it is for any family once they finally decide to add another person. It completely changes life. But I remember my friend, Carmen- mother of 4- telling me that adding a second or third (or fourth!) child to the family is just like the decision to add one: it seems harder than it actually is once you're doing it. The thought of having two sounds a lot scarier than actually having them, just like the thought of having Roman scared the bajeebers out of me but when I found myself taking care of the little peanut that I had birthed, it happened without thought.
Yes, I'm aware that my workload is about to increase big time. And I've already been prepped that the first year is really hard when having two close in age. But I've also heard that after the first year it's a gift because they have a playmate in each other- and hopefully a best friend.
I want my kids to love each other like a best friend so badly.... And I know that the way we raise them can help promote that close relationship. But the truth is that just because you're siblings doesn't mean you'd choose each other as a best friend- or a friend at all! Siblings can be such different people that living in peace is the best they can do. But oh, how I desire friendship between each of my kids. It would be neat to see that happen, if it does. :)