Saturday, May 21, 2011

Sippy Cups Only Look Innocent

Here I am, innocently minding my own business...putting away the dishes in the dishwasher....and then I see it. The thing that makes my stomach churn and causes me to stop in my tracks. The thing that makes my breath catch in my chest and causes panic to streak through my brain for .093 of a second. The sippy cup in my hand. WHEN DID I BECOME A MOM!?!??

You'd think I'd have a handle on it since Roman is almost 10 months old now. (Pause. 10 months? Holy cow.)And most days I go about my business of Mommyhood with the greatest of ease. I love it! I find it way cooler than I ever thought it would be. (Okay, not necessarily including the moments as of late that find me scooping poop out of the bathtub, but it can't be glamorous all the time, right?!?!) But there are these random moments that catch me off guard- going to choir rehearsal as a free woman, reach into the purse to get a pencil, and hello snack puffs- when I think "How the heck did this happen!?!"

I don't feel old enough to be a parent, let alone wise enough/capable enough/brave enough. But here I am.

It's not that parents are old....it's that I always imagined I'd feel mature and accomplished by the time I had kids. I thought I would just feel like an adult. But I still feel like me! I'm not saying that I feel like I'm 17 again, but I'm saying I'm still the same girl who was 17 a decade ago and I still feel as awkward as I did then! I guess I just had this idea in my head of what it would feel like when I was married and had children and it's not at all that feeling! It's still weird to think that I sleep with a man at night! (HA!) So you can see why it's a little crazy to accept that I am now a PARENT on top of it. "Parent." Does that really describe me!?

Whoa. Slow down, life train! Slow down.

2 comments:

  1. Well Lauren, that is life! I am 51, closer to 52 and I am still waiting to feel like a grown up. When my kids call me for advise I wonder sometimes why they are asking me. After all, I am still asking my mother, who also says she sure doesn't feel like a woman in her mid 80's and how did I get this old! Enjoy yourself and know that you are a wonderful mother and totally capable. Love ys

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  2. thanks Phyllis! it's crazy how life moves forward, whether we're prepared for it or not, huh? :)

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